Many fathers now take on the role of staying home to look after the house and children, either by choice or because of the current economic situation. This is very often extremely rewarding for the man and the children, and this role reversal certainly should not be negative in terms of the children’s growth and development. Despite the fact that such role reversals are occurring with increasing frequency, ness’ is threatened, and others find that their new role is rejected by their male friends. They may also find it more difficult, because of entrenched attitudes, to access the usual community support networks.

CHILDCARE

Most families will need childcare at some stage, whether it is a few hours occasionally or regular daycare if both parents are working. There are many different types of childcare, and you need to decide which type will best suit your needs.

Some parents arrange for childcare in their own home. This has obvious advantages, with the child being looked after in familiar surroundings but is also the most expensive and difficult to organise. Family daycare is not dissimilar, with a small number of children looked after in a private home. Most daycare is in special registered premises (childcare centres or creches), and is either run privately or government subsidised. There is a welcome and long overdue trend for employers to provide daycare for the children of employees, either on site or close by.

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1. Money is a token, a token for trading a measure of some of your work or earnings for things you want or need. It has no meaning other than that. Do not allow its amount or use to symbolize anything more than that.

2 If you’re fighting over money, you’re not! When you fight over money, you are doing so because money provides a target for interpretation, misinterpretation, and “proving something.” Look deeper, because the money is not the issue.

3 Money relates directly to roles in the marriage. If there are problems with money, consider altering the roles. All role changes should be for a prearranged period of time followed by scheduled reassessment of how the new roles worked out.

4 When money problems are severe and arguments are getting bitter, sex will no doubt suffer. This is the time to reconsider goals, hopes, and aspirations for your marriage. When such dreams are vague, unshared, or forgotten, money and money issues seem to take on a life of their own. Couples may have a financial plan, but they need a shared life dream”, too.

5. The key first question in money management in marriage is not “Can we afford it?” or “Who will pay for it?” or “Who’s money is it?” but “What do we want to do and what do we need to do it or get it? ” After this question is discussed, then money can be the focus as a shared problem, a means to an end. Most couples want money to be able to “do” things, to “buy” time, rather than “get” things.

6. In a super sex marriage, all money is “us” money. It comes from and belongs to the marriage. Any other arrangement will prevent the type of intimate trust necessary for the type of sexuality that I am discussing. For a super marriage, all major purchases must be mutual, with intense shared review and discussion. Deferring to a partner on major investments will always come back to haunt you. It doesn’t matter who knows more about money. What matters is that both of you have feelings, and money issues are never separate from feeling issues.

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Whom you choose to bond with depends not only on early experience of adult sex scenes, perceived parental sexual behavior, male/female sex-role interpretations, and sex play with boys and girls, it also relates to friendship patterns. Most of us had one special friend of the same gender, that one special playmate or school chum who shared our developmental joys and griefs. We often spent time talking, listening to one another’s lies, discussing one another’s life philosophies. This friend became a major point on our love map, a major determinant of some of the characteristics we would later look for in a marital partner. Do you remember such a friend?

One man reported, “Yes, it was Dennis. He was with me from early elementary school. We played together for hours. We formed a club, built a clubhouse, and were the only two members. We didn’t talk much about sex or anything like that. We just sort of shared the same terrors and hopes. One time we actually held hands. I’ll never forget it. We must have been about eight years old or so, and they were going to take blood tests, something about civil defense procedures. We were scared to death. We just held hands in line. I’ll never forget it.”

The special support from his boyhood friend became a key part of this man’s love map, and one that directly affected his later choice of a wife. His wife reported a similar incident, perhaps explaining in part the overlapping of love maps that I mentioned earlier and the impact of this overlapping on the sexual system.

‘ T never forget her. I just cannot think of her name, but she was always with me for about three years in school. She saved me many times. I remember not being able to jump rope worth anything.

The other girls laughed at me. She told them to stop, that I could do it if I wanted to, but that I was in training for ballet school and was not allowed to jump rope. Of course, this was a lie, but I would never have been fast enough or devious enough to think of it. She could always save me.”

This woman had selected a husband who did much the same thing in their marriage, supported her and covered for her. “He gets me out of any social event I really don’t want to go to. He is a good strategic liar,” she reported.

Her husband’s report supported this overlap theory. “She is always there for me. She even held my hand once in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. She did it beautifully. She held a magazine on her lap and put one on mine and we held hands under the magazines. I was scared to death, but she really helped me, and nobody ever knew about it.” A love-system bond is evident here, a map match that helped this couple find super marital sex.

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World health authorities estimate that there are

40 million new cases of syphilis and 200 million cases of gonorrhoea throughout the world each year. These two diseases are perhaps the most widely known and feared of venereal disorders, but there are a number of other conditions which are also spread sexually.

When the antibiotics came into general use, many thought this would mean the disappearance of these diseases but this has proved a false hope.

There are a number of theories as to why venereal diseases are increasing. The belief that they can be easily cured and are no longer a problem has led to complacency among the general public and also the medical profession.

The permissive society has meant an increase in promiscuity and an increase in sexual activity among the young. This coupled with greater mobility of the population has increased the risk and also the incidence.

Changing patterns of contraception, such as the Pill and easier abortion have changed the emphasis from man “taking precautions” to the woman.

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Cortisone can considerably reduce the symptoms of emphysema, and may be used continuously, or only intermittently for severe attacks of breathless-ness.

Considerable benefit has now been achieved in this disease — and in asthma as well — by using a cortisone derivative, beclomethasone. This is inhaled directly into the lungs, and acts locally.

Its main advantage is that very little of the drug is absorbed into the general circulation.

When the symptoms are severe, it may be necessary to use oxygen, but in any case of chronic breathing difficulty, oxygen must be used with caution — in some cases it can make the condition worse.

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Some practitioners also claim to be able to diagnose cancer by testing your hair. This is not true. Like finger and toe nails, hair consists mainly of a substance called keratin. There are no cells in hair — it is not living tissue. It is not possible to diagnose cancer by analysing hair.

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When checking for clues to the presence of cancer in the liver, your doctor would also be looking for yellow jaundice, which is seen most easily in the whites of the eyes.

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Pneumonia and ear infection are common. Nephritis, or inflammation of the kidneys, and rheumatic fever, which may affect the heart are serious, rare complications.

The early use of antibiotics, particularly penicillin, in most cases of streptococcal infection, appears to have caused a reduction in a number of cases of scarlet fever and also in its severity.

The symptoms of scarlet fever, such as fever and headache, are of course treated as in all of these illnesses by the use of either aspirin or paracetamol. Bed-rest is essential. There is no vaccine to prevent scarlet fever.

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