Archive for May, 2009
THE HOUSEHUSBAND/’AT HOME’ FATHER AND CHILDCARE
THE HOUSEHUSBAND/’AT HOME’ FATHER
Many fathers now take on the role of staying home to look after the house and children, either by choice or because of the current economic situation. This is very often extremely rewarding for the man and the children, and this role reversal certainly should not be negative in terms of the children’s growth and development. Despite the fact that such role reversals are occurring with increasing frequency, ness’ is threatened, and others find that their new role is rejected by their male friends. They may also find it more difficult, because of entrenched attitudes, to access the usual community support networks.
Most families will need childcare at some stage, whether it is a few hours occasionally or regular daycare if both parents are working. There are many different types of childcare, and you need to decide which type will best suit your needs.
Some parents arrange for childcare in their own home. This has obvious advantages, with the child being looked after in familiar surroundings but is also the most expensive and difficult to organise. Family daycare is not dissimilar, with a small number of children looked after in a private home. Most daycare is in special registered premises (childcare centres or creches), and is either run privately or government subsidised. There is a welcome and long overdue trend for employers to provide daycare for the children of employees, either on site or close by.
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OUR MARITAL HEALTH/SEX AND PROBLEMS OF DAILY LIVING: SOME OF THE RECOMMENDATIONS GIVEN TO THE COUPLES REGARDING THE MONEY ISSUES
Here were some of the recommendations given to the couples regarding the money issues. Remember the warning of lackie Mason, who said,’ T have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
1. Money is a token, a token for trading a measure of some of your work or earnings for things you want or need. It has no meaning other than that. Do not allow its amount or use to symbolize anything more than that.
2 If you’re fighting over money, you’re not! When you fight over money, you are doing so because money provides a target for interpretation, misinterpretation, and “proving something.” Look deeper, because the money is not the issue.
3 Money relates directly to roles in the marriage. If there are problems with money, consider altering the roles. All role changes should be for a prearranged period of time followed by scheduled reassessment of how the new roles worked out.
4 When money problems are severe and arguments are getting bitter, sex will no doubt suffer. This is the time to reconsider goals, hopes, and aspirations for your marriage. When such dreams are vague, unshared, or forgotten, money and money issues seem to take on a life of their own. Couples may have a financial plan, but they need a shared life dream”, too.
5. The key first question in money management in marriage is not “Can we afford it?” or “Who will pay for it?” or “Who’s money is it?” but “What do we want to do and what do we need to do it or get it? ” After this question is discussed, then money can be the focus as a shared problem, a means to an end. Most couples want money to be able to “do” things, to “buy” time, rather than “get” things.
6. In a super sex marriage, all money is “us” money. It comes from and belongs to the marriage. Any other arrangement will prevent the type of intimate trust necessary for the type of sexuality that I am discussing. For a super marriage, all major purchases must be mutual, with intense shared review and discussion. Deferring to a partner on major investments will always come back to haunt you. It doesn’t matter who knows more about money. What matters is that both of you have feelings, and money issues are never separate from feeling issues.
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SUPER LOVE FOR SUPER SEX/LOVE-MAP LANDMARKS: DESCRIBE YOUR BEST CHILDHOOD
SAME-SEX FRIEND
Whom you choose to bond with depends not only on early experience of adult sex scenes, perceived parental sexual behavior, male/female sex-role interpretations, and sex play with boys and girls, it also relates to friendship patterns. Most of us had one special friend of the same gender, that one special playmate or school chum who shared our developmental joys and griefs. We often spent time talking, listening to one another’s lies, discussing one another’s life philosophies. This friend became a major point on our love map, a major determinant of some of the characteristics we would later look for in a marital partner. Do you remember such a friend?
One man reported, “Yes, it was Dennis. He was with me from early elementary school. We played together for hours. We formed a club, built a clubhouse, and were the only two members. We didn’t talk much about sex or anything like that. We just sort of shared the same terrors and hopes. One time we actually held hands. I’ll never forget it. We must have been about eight years old or so, and they were going to take blood tests, something about civil defense procedures. We were scared to death. We just held hands in line. I’ll never forget it.”
The special support from his boyhood friend became a key part of this man’s love map, and one that directly affected his later choice of a wife. His wife reported a similar incident, perhaps explaining in part the overlapping of love maps that I mentioned earlier and the impact of this overlapping on the sexual system.
‘ T never forget her. I just cannot think of her name, but she was always with me for about three years in school. She saved me many times. I remember not being able to jump rope worth anything.
The other girls laughed at me. She told them to stop, that I could do it if I wanted to, but that I was in training for ballet school and was not allowed to jump rope. Of course, this was a lie, but I would never have been fast enough or devious enough to think of it. She could always save me.”
This woman had selected a husband who did much the same thing in their marriage, supported her and covered for her. “He gets me out of any social event I really don’t want to go to. He is a good strategic liar,” she reported.
Her husband’s report supported this overlap theory. “She is always there for me. She even held my hand once in the waiting room at the dentist’s office. She did it beautifully. She held a magazine on her lap and put one on mine and we held hands under the magazines. I was scared to death, but she really helped me, and nobody ever knew about it.” A love-system bond is evident here, a map match that helped this couple find super marital sex.
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VENEREAL DISEASE – INTRODUCTION
The sexually transmitted diseases are on the increase and we should all be aware of what they are, how they are caused and what we can do to both treat and prevent them.
World health authorities estimate that there are
40 million new cases of syphilis and 200 million cases of gonorrhoea throughout the world each year. These two diseases are perhaps the most widely known and feared of venereal disorders, but there are a number of other conditions which are also spread sexually.
There are a number of theories as to why venereal diseases are increasing. The belief that they can be easily cured and are no longer a problem has led to complacency among the general public and also the medical profession.
The permissive society has meant an increase in promiscuity and an increase in sexual activity among the young. This coupled with greater mobility of the population has increased the risk and also the incidence.
Changing patterns of contraception, such as the Pill and easier abortion have changed the emphasis from man “taking precautions” to the woman.
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EMPHYSEMA – GENERAL INFORMATION
They can be used as tablets, as medicines, as injections, as suppositories or inhaled directly into the lung.
Cortisone can considerably reduce the symptoms of emphysema, and may be used continuously, or only intermittently for severe attacks of breathless-ness.
Considerable benefit has now been achieved in this disease — and in asthma as well — by using a cortisone derivative, beclomethasone. This is inhaled directly into the lungs, and acts locally.
Its main advantage is that very little of the drug is absorbed into the general circulation.
When the symptoms are severe, it may be necessary to use oxygen, but in any case of chronic breathing difficulty, oxygen must be used with caution — in some cases it can make the condition worse.
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YOUR CANCER, YOUR LIFE – GETTING A SPECIMEN
We now know most of the ways of getting a direct or indirect look at the source of symptoms which might be due to cancer. Once the problem area is located, the next step is to obtain a sample for microscopic examination. This is always necessary. Even if the appearance on X-rays, say, is such that your doctor is perfectly sure it’s a cancer, it is still necessary to confirm this and to find out what type it is. Until this is done, no one can know what to expect Äî11Ìî bAst treat it or anything else. I cannot stress this too strongly — it is always Hiecessary to examine a specimen under the microscope. What are some of the ways of getting the specimen?
Some practitioners also claim to be able to diagnose cancer by testing your hair. This is not true. Like finger and toe nails, hair consists mainly of a substance called keratin. There are no cells in hair — it is not living tissue. It is not possible to diagnose cancer by analysing hair.
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LIVER METASTASES – ASCITES
When the liver is damaged, fluid tends to collect in the abdominal cavity. This is called ascites. One reason is that cancer or scarring in the liver can partly block the blood and lymph vessels. In addition, the liver normally produces a blood protein called albumin. If the liver doesn’t keep the albumin in the blood up to normal levels, fluid leaks out of the blood into the tissues. This can cause swelling in the legs or lower back as well as fluid in the abdominal cavity. Ascites in a person with cancer does not always mean the liver has secondary deposits in it. Cancer cells growing in the lining of the abdominal cavity (the peritoneum) also causes fluid to collect, just like the fluid on the lung when the pleura is affected. Of course, problems other than cancer can cause ascites too.
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SCARLET FEVER – GENERAL INFORMATION (SYMPTOMS; TREATMENT)
The temperature and the rash often last for five to six days. Once the illness has subsided, the skin peels. There are many complications from scarlet fever, but these are not seen so often now.
Pneumonia and ear infection are common. Nephritis, or inflammation of the kidneys, and rheumatic fever, which may affect the heart are serious, rare complications.
The symptoms of scarlet fever, such as fever and headache, are of course treated as in all of these illnesses by the use of either aspirin or paracetamol. Bed-rest is essential. There is no vaccine to prevent scarlet fever.
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FAT LOSS – EATING DISORDERS: BULIMIA
The desire to maintain a sub-optimal weight also frequently underlies the condition of bulimia, although bulimia sufferers are usually dose to normal weight for height. Bulimia is defined as a behaviour involving a variety of techniques for purging after binge-eating. Unlike those who suffer from obesity or anorexia with associated body size, there are few clues to the condition of bulimia for the observer. For this reason its prevalence is probably much higher than estimated, and its diagnosis is more difficult. Its prevalence (1-3 per cent amongst adolescent and young females) is thought to have significantly increased during the last 20 years, with surveys in the US indicating possibly as many as 15 per cent of college aged women experiencing some form of bulimia. Many bulimia sufferers seek treatment only after years of binge-eating and vomiting, feeling both responsible for and guilty and ashamed of their disorder. On the other hand, clients may seek help for weight loss without ever disclosing the underlying condition.
Diagnostic criteria.
The following symptoms are considered to be characteristic of bulimia:
• usually normal weight-for-height—but may be slightly over or under weight
• morbid fear of fatness
• extreme sensitivity to weight gain
• recurrent episodes of bingeing (characterised by the feeling of loss of control over eating) followed by self-induced vomiting—at least twice a week for three months
• purgative abuse—may be in addition to vomiting
• excessive exercise or fasting
• depressive symptoms.
Non-purging type bulimia may also occur, involving bingeing together with inappropriate compensatory behaviours such as fasting or excessive exercise, but not vomiting or laxative abuse. Possible medical complications of bulimia include dehydration, electrolyte abnormalities, salivary gland swelling, possible kidney disease, gastrointestinal problems, possible endocrine abnormalities, dental caries and erosion of tooth enamel.
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THE G.I. FACTOR: THE HIGH CARBOHYDRATE DIET
Our bodies burn fuel all the time and the fuel our bodies like best is carbohydrate. Just as you would never try to run your car without petrol—its essential energy source—you should not try to run your body without carbohydrate—your body’s preferred energy source. Carbohydrate is the main fuel we use when we walk, talk, think, move, scratch, sneeze, jump, or sleep. Everything!
You might think of carbohydrate as the all important ingredient that makes foods taste sweet. It is also the starchy part of foods like rice, bread, potatoes and pasta. In fact, carbohydrate is the most widely consumed nutrient in the world, after water. It’s important to the human body because it yields glucose. Glucose is so important that if your diet doesn’t provide enough carbohydrate, your brain signals a shortage of glucose, and muscle tissue will be broken down to supply the shortfall. This basically means that you lose body muscle to feed your brain. Carbohydrate also displaces fat from the diet. While not all fats are bad (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated are fine), they are all easy to overconsume, i.e. eat in excess of your requirements. It’s easy to put on excess weight if your diet is dominated by fats. Ideally, 50 to 60 per cent of your daily kilojoule intake should come from carbohydrate.
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