UNDERSTANDING CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR: THE ‘AVERAGE CHILD’ VERSUS YOUR CHILD

March 11th, 2009 | General health

I want to make it very clear that the child I described above is the average child as described by statistics. Your child is an individual. It would be quite remarkable if he happened to be average in every detail. He is far more apt to be above the average in some respects, below it in others, and to alternate at various periods.

Growth

As far as growth is concerned, I think it is a good idea to record your child’s weight and height and the arrival of his teeth so that your doctor will know whether the rate is within normal limits. Leave that up to him and do not worry about it yourself. Your child must not be made to feel uncomfortable about his physical development, and comments by relatives on his size should be discouraged.

Sleep

Give your child the opportunity to obtain the average amount of sleep. It will not hurt to keep him up once in a while on special occasions, but do not make a habit of depriving children of the sleep they need just to suit your own convenience. Try to provide a reasonably comfortable place where he will be relatively free from being disturbed by household noise. Even more important, you should provide a proper attitude as far as sleep is concerned.

Sleep should not be a major problem. If there is any trouble, do not decide your child is being bad; try to find and eliminate the cause of the difficulty. For example, your child may at some time be afraid of the dark. A dim light or the door left open just a little will often help. A cuddly doll or teddy bear may be comforting company.

Children usually go to sleep more readily if the evening meal is a simple one, and they are not too stimulated at bedtime. A tapering-off period of quiet relaxation, perhaps a soothing story, are helpful.

Do not put a child to bed as a punishment. Be fair and considerate; make going to bed as pleasant as possible, but also be firm about it.

Eating

Similarly, eating habits often become an issue in the household. Self-regulation, usually gets a baby off to a good start, but at some time or other most children fail to eat as well as their mothers would wish. I advise mothers to place the food before their children and remove it without any comment if they do not eat it. They are usually ready for it by the next meal.

If a child is a poor feeder, either regularly or at certain stages of his development, the mother should calmly go about discovering the circumstances under which he eats best. Often being alone where he will not be distracted helps. Sometimes he does well with very small portions, or food that is easily chewed, or food that is easy to manipulate. Sometimes he prefers to be fed, even though he is old enough by the timetable of ‘averages’ to feed himself. Sometimes, especially if he is restless, teething, or overtired, it helps if you read one of his favourite stories to him while he is eating.

In regard to eating (and sleeping), remember:

Do not worry. Children do not starve themselves. Some carefully controlled investigations have shown that even very small children who are allowed to choose their foods select a reasonably well-balanced diet. They do not eat ice cream and sweets only.
Feeding problems are often problems that involve something other than, or in addition to, eating. It is best to discover what they are and solve them, but if you cannot, a general atmosphere of love and relaxation will help.
Your child is not the ‘average child.’ He may eat less or more because that is what he needs.
Your child grows and changes. At one time he may eat or sleep well; at another time, he may not. Most children eat less in hot weather, in teething periods, and during the second year of life.